When you feel in your gut what you are and then dynamically pursue it - don't back down and don't give up - then you're going to mystify a lot of folks.
Bob Dylan
US singer & songwriter (1941 - )
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
I'm the one who HIT the jackpot!
I know that most of you don't understand that but I do. I won so much more then just money, fame, or family members coming out of the wood works wanting something from me. I love the man that I am married to. He is the funniest thing ever with all of his different voices. His parents have been married for over 30 years now and he grew up in a wonderfully intersting enviroment. We I'm sure that I will post more on him later and I will put pictures. You can see how late it is and now I'm going to bed.
I thought this was funny!
Lines From Alanis Morissette's "Ironic," Modified to Actually Make them Ironic
(I found this on www.collegehumor.com)Posted January 12, 2007
An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day... of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades' worth of lottery tickets.
A black fly in your Chardonnay... poured to celebrate the successful fumigation of your recently purchased vineyard in southern France.
A death row pardon two minutes too late... because the governor was too busy watching Dead Man Walking to grant clemency any earlier.
Rain on your wedding day... to Ra, the Egyptian sun-god.
A free ride when you've already paid... all of your money to the good-natured cab driver when you mistook him for a mugger.
The good advice that you just didn't take... after reading Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking and resolving that the key to success is making your own decisions.
Mr. Play-it-Safe was afraid to fly. He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye. He waited his whole damn life to take that flight. And as the plane crashed down, he thought, Well isn't this nice... now I'll never make it to the National Association of Aviophobics conference in Reno, NV.
A traffic jam when you're already late... to receive an award from the Municipal Planning Board for reducing the city's automobile congestion 80 percent.
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break... at the R.J. Reynolds Tobacco corporate offices in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife... with which to kill your spouse for sleeping with the young soup chef who works at the Au Bon Pain.
Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife... who happens to be the psychiatrist I recently hired in hopes of improving my luck with the opposite sex.
Raul found this and posted it.
When God made Corrections Officers
When the Lord was creating correction officers, he was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared and said "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."
And the Lord said, "Have you read the spec on this order? A corrections officer has to be able to run in the dark, scale walls, enter cells the health inspector wouldn't touch, and not wrinkle his uniform."
"He has to be able to sit in a cage all day on duty, run to a red alert , frisk the yard for contraband, and testify in court the next day."
"He has to be in top physical condition at all times, running on black coffee and half-eaten meals. And he has to have six pairs of hands."
The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pairs of hands...no way."
"It's not the hands that are causing me problems," said the Lord, "it's the three pairs of eyes an officer has to have."
"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. One pair that sees through a bulge in a pocket before he asks, "Do you have any weapons on you?" (When he already knows and wishes he'd taken that accounting job.) Another pair here in the side of his head for his partners' safety. And another pair of eyes here in front that can look at a bleeding victim and say, "You'll be all right," when he knows it isn't so.
"Lord," said the angel, touching his sleeve, "rest and work on this tomorrow."
"I can't," said the Lord, "I already have a model that can talk a 250 pound felon into his cell without incident and feed a family of four on a civil service paycheck."
The angel circled the model of the correctional officer very slowly, "Can it think?" she asked.
"You bet," said the Lord. "It can tell you the elements of a hundred crimes; recite department violations in it's sleep; detain, investigate, search, and lock up a gang member in the yard in less time than it takes five learned judges to debate the legality of the policy and still it keeps its sense of humor."
"This officer also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from an evasive inmate, deal with an inmates family, and then read in the daily paper how, Corrections isn't sensitive to the rights of convicted felons."
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the peace officer. "There's a leak," she pronounced, "I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model."
"That's not a leak," said the Lord, "It's a tear."
"What's the tear for?" asked the angel.
"It's for the bottled-up emotions, for fallen comrades, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for justice."
"You're a genius," said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there," he said.
-UnkownA wonderful man wrote this about me.
Never in a million years did I think I would find a woman so wonderful that would complete my life in ways I could only imagine.
It's true you see I became a womans friend I mean a real friend and not looking for benefits, you can learn a lot more about what you need as a man and less about what you want as a man by moving that horny clutter aside, and you'll realize that a womans needs are more than just similar there praticly the same as a mans they are just prioritized differently.
As soon as I stopped being selfish stuck my pride in my back pocket and honestly viewed her as more than just a woman but as a really good friend the level of respect for each other grew everyday, trust bonded us and fear of rejection became a thing of the past and total focus on each other is positive because there was no strings attached friends take care of each other the best part of this is falling in love with your friend and thats what I did. I know her better than anyone else, and I'm still getting to know her. I couldn't see myself without her in my life. I knew this woman was my other half because I was half a man without her so I made her my wife and we both feel together as a whole. We consistantly thanking God for putting each other in our lives so that we can live together as one. I love you baby you found the man in me I didn't know I had inside, you brought him out and he's happy and greatfull to be given the opportunity to be your loving husband. I want the world to know that I love you.
Raul Farber
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